Trust my Gut

So....Sunday he was worse. Even on 3 grams of bute. Our dressage ride was horrible and I'm the worst mom ever. :( I kept getting frustrated. There was a lot of commotion and Fleck was distracted and heavy and quick. I couldn't quite tell if anything was wrong though. He didn't feel great but he didn't feel awful.

 
Luckily Kelli and Peri showed up and came to watch. They said he looked off and they could see it immediately. Great.... :(  I'm horrible. :( So I got off and we were chatting. They both saw left hind, which is what I had been thinking because of the awful right lead canter. While we were chatting he kept cocking that left hind up. Then he wouldn't pick up his right hind for me. Sigh...

That evening he was still cocking the left hind and by Monday morning he wasn't putting weight on the foot if possible. He was toe touching but wouldn't put his heel down. I called Wayne, cancelled my Cindy lesson and tried to pull the shoe. I couldn't get it. Luckily Wayne swung by on Tuesday evening and pulled it for me. He said there was a huge abscess. So... MAYBE that's all it was.... ???? But for 2 weeks?! I wrapped and packed it and today we put shoes back on. He already seems better so we'll see how he is in the next day or two. Wayne didn't pare down as much toe sole as Dr. Bob wanted. Wayne said he felt like it shut down blood flow and made them stop growing toe. Which... maybe is what we sort of want, to fix those angles? But... he did trim him down a good bit and shortened his toe again. So... we'll see. I really hope that's all it is, but.. I guess we'll give it a few days and see. 

 I so love this guy!

 

So.......

We still don't know what is up with Flecky. I adjusted him and then he was worse and borderline neuro. Well, not even borderline.... flat out neuro really. He was standing funky and was not placing well. Then on the lunge he was dramatically lamer than he has been and clearly unhappy picking up the trot and then even the canter. You could see the right hind catching a good bit. Flexing made it only moderately worse when we flexed just his stifle. 

We x-rayed his feet again and his angles are still very negative even with the 2 degree wedge. So.. the plan is to pare down his sole at the toe to help with the negative angles, add the rocker shoe to the front feet to help with break over, and see what happens there. Prior to Wayne coming on Friday I'm going to bute him and see if that helps. That way I can see if it's pain vs neuro vs biomechanical. Then I'll test him for lymes, just in case. Then... if all else fails... maybe x-ray his neck and/or consider injecting his lumbosacral joint. 

But really, I have no idea. I buted him today and .... well... it's hard to say. He certainly felt pretty good at the beginning. We did an hour long walk hack and he was chomping at the bit, but tripped some. Then we hit the field and trotted and cantered and he seemed perfectly sound. Even Laura Duhamel and Erin Flynn thought so. But then while they were watching to check him, he tripped and faceplanted. He fell to his knees and to his face. I don't know if he tripped or what. The skid marks look like he just slid. There was no holes in the ground or anything. And then he was a bit off in the right hind for a few minutes. He worked out of it and seemed sound again after. SO.....what does that mean? There is a pain component AND a neuro component? Is it chiro neuro and not real neuro?? 

 I have no idea.... and it's frustrating because I want to help him. But he does feel fairly happy and ready to go still.... 

Argh.... 
It was a beautiful day though!

but at least there's this

Sigh.... I'm a horrible mom. So... Fleck doesn't have an abscess I don't think. He wasn't quite right in my dressage lesson. He wasn't overtly lame except for a few steps after the left lead canter. But the right lead canter was awful. And he just felt unhappy. We cut it short. Cindy thought it was maybe left front. 

We headed to Ashland after my dressage lesson to have Wayne look at him. Wayne said he really didn't  think it was an abscess and thought it was left front also. He pulled the left front shoe and dug out a little bit where Fleck was sore on the lateral hoof wall edge. 

But then I rode again today and... no real change. He might have even been worse. He did not want to pick up the right lead at all. And felt just... icky. So we just hacked mostly. I had Liz watch my video from schooling... and she felt that he looked uncomfortable and was basically cheating. He didn't want to say no, so he cheated and found a way to get the job done. 

So... Unless we can find anything glaring and easily fixable, it looks like Sporting Days is out. Sigh.. Guess I'm getting my answer. 

The Struggle is Real.... and oh so FUN

Sigh....

I cannot decide what to do about poor Flecky. I really thought he was ready to retire. But then today... we went to the Vista to school XC and... my Flecky was back!! He was game and jumped like a beast! We even popped over a few intermediate fences. And... that was with an abscess brewing that got significantly worse by the end. And he was still dragging me around and wanting to do more.

We did lots of fun stuff, and I'm pretty sure there are videos coming soon. :)

 

Sigh... I love love love this horse... and really want him to be happy and comfy and live a long life of fun and happyness and retire to being my sound trail pony and doing whatever pony. But I also really love riding and jumping him and it's so hard to let go. I'm on the edge of the cliff, and clinging on for dear life, but I cannot make myself just let go.... I really think (but cannot promise) that if we decide to go to sporting days this weekend, and even if it does most wonderfully... I still think I'll retire him from prelim eventing. We may still play around schooling but the pressure of competing at that level is getting to me. I don't want to hurt him, injure him, kill him, etc.... because he's trying his heart out for me. And I know crap happens all the time unrelated to competing, but.. the pressures and maintenance and effort it takes, is taking a toll on me too. It's soooo much responsibility.

But I just cannot decide about sporting days. Although I guess we will see if we can fix his abscess first.

But man.... how I love this beast!!

 And this was after the darn trailer got stuck in the deep sand up the hill. And I had to tie them to the tree to see if I could get it unstuck without their weight. (I couldn't... had to get a tractor to tow me out). And Dan untied himself and went for a short little romp. Luckily only a very short little romp. :)

dressage lesson with beth

Since Fleck wasn't quite right yesterday we flatted today. And of course today he felt great. Which, phew!

We worked on connection. I put him in the baucher and I think I like it, but I'm not sure. But I had an aha moment!

When I track right, *I* think he is overbent at the neck and his left shoulder is flinging out. So in my attempts to correct that, I hang on that left rein to "straighten" him. Which in essence, makes him hang right back and counter bends him, thus defeating the purpose. But instead if I bring both hands to the right, EVENLY (becaue apparently my brain thinks my hands are even when they are clearly not), this brings his left shoulder around too. It's amazing how well that works actually. At the walk, it's almost like he neck reins. But I have to remember to keep my outside hand down and my inside hand up. (I think.... ). And apparently even though I think he's overbent at the neck and popping that shoulder out, he's just counter bent, so I need to keep the inside flexion a teeny bit.

Going to the left... I need to ride him straighter and not so bent to the inside, even though in my brain, he's going nicely. Same thing as the other way in what I do with my hands.

We got some really nice trot work. and even some nice canter work. :) At the very end, when I was doing the even hand to the right and left thing... he got really quite nice and round and lofty! But I definitely need to keep his nose between his chest and ride him straight!! (I seem to remember Cindy using this visual before with great effects then too). And he needs to stay round!! no more screwing around. When he inverts, just keep my hands with a steady connection and leg leg leg into the bit. He needs to learn that leg means go on the bit.

So yep.. a good ride! And we worked on leg yields too and got some decent ones. I need to LET GO OF THE LEFT REIN to allow him to bend and go left. Sigh...

ONe of these days I'll figure it out and not make myself so backwards and wonky...

dressage at night

Got done with enough time to sneak in a quick ride.

Lame?? Girth sore bothering him?? Still happy to work but his foot steps sounded uneven and his canter was icky. But we tried the baucher bit and it seemed to be helpful. We'll see. It was a heavy connection but he was actually rounder at the base of his neck. So... We'll see what Cindy thinks of it.

feeling better

 We managed to get our trot sets in and even did some canter work. Then since the map clocker said we only did 8 mph as our max speed... we had to jump some to make sure that we weren't really that slow. So we hopped over a few XC fences in the field. Max speed was 18 mph. I think the clocker was wrong with our canter sets.

 But... while he was feeling fresher, our jumping still wasn't like it used to be. :( Not sure exactly what is going on.... Sigh... Or I know, but don't want to admit it.