Roller Coaster

So... what a roller coaster. Poor Fleck. Poor Me. I just cannot decide what to do for him. I do one thing and then I second guess myself.... 

Currently he is barefoot and sore in his muscles at his hip and sciatica. I think. So... lasering, lasering, lasering... (MUST laser more like a good mommy), and more lasering. Today I also equitaped him which was giving off a LOT of heat, so I hope this helps him. And he's got new herbs planned. And I'll keep doing the somatics. And the acupuncture. And the chiro. 

And now I"ve got to get Roany done too. She's looking awfully puny. Sigh... my poor ponies. 

But Fleck did seem to appreciate the attention today. So fingers crossed this helps him. And once I get through my acupuncture final, I plan to do lots of fascia research :) 

Beautiful day

Today was a beautiful day to spend it with my best friend. Even if we only walked and briefly trotted.

(And... we did attempt a canter but holy moly... it was not right. :( :( :( )

 Oh how I love him!

Sigh..... This really helps!

I think I was so hung up on the feeling that I was "Giving Up" on my best friend... that I didn't realize that giving up was in his best interest. I still feel a bit like I failed him by "giving up".

But this article helps and sort of helped me realize that it's not giving up.. it's... making the right choice...



"Giving Up"

Acceptance

Eventually I'll write a tribute post....

but for now.... I've pulled his shoes... he's "retired" and I'm okay with it. He's okay with it.

But oh how I miss him. I miss hanging out with him. Life has gotten so busy it's hard to hang out with my buddy when I'm not showing/competing/lessoning/riding him. Sigh... And that's not cool Life... not cool.

Today we went to Dr. Browns and he hung out while I worked. He's GOOFY!! I miss him.
We ultrasounded him today and I practiced on him. :) But... ultimately it appears that he has torn some of the muscles that insert on that third trochanter and they have calcified fairly significantly. So... he must have torn them fairly bad. Or mildy and then I kept working him??? Who knows. Point is.... he's retired and can do whatever he feels like doing now and that's all he has to do. I don't think it'll hurt him to play and do what he's up for, as long as I"m not pushing, or even really asking. Just allowing. Dr. Brown agreed. And he also said that given some time, he should recover more and more and while he may have a mechanical shortness because of scarring, he may not, and he should be sound. Unless there is some sciatica. In which case... we just play on the good days.

So.... we'll continue to keep him barefoot assuming he's happy enough. We'll continue to do our trail rides and enjoy each others company. If we only walk, so be it. If he wants to trot or canter, then we trot or canter. No expectations, just joy at being together.

And hopefully I can manage to get Life to cooperate and spend more time with him. He was cracking me up today. He was begging at the gate. A woman sat down and had a cracker and crinkled the wrapper. He was trying to put his nose through the gate BEGGING for food. And he didn't stop for at least 10 minutes. Then he spent the next 45 minutes licking the gate. And making faces. :)
Hee hee. Oh how I love him....

My Ray of Hope is Back!

Still no idea, pulled his shoes, tried not to cry in front of the farrier, felt like I was giving up and it made it so final. No real change... theraplate.... acupunctured and suddenly a bit better. Even started trotting and cantering some coming in for dinner. :) :)

Went for a short little walk hack. Working on next goal... bridleless riding :)

Snuggles

So.... Fleck's had a week off. It's been tough not riding him. Even though I don't really have time. And it's literally in the mid to upper 90's this week with the heat index in the mid 100's to 110. So it was good timing I guess. ;) 
 
But I just want him to feel better. I'm panicking and trying to stop myself from scheduling 8 different vets to look at him, submitting blood and CSF for EPM evaluation, calling every equine pyschic/communicator, and just... doing whatever it takes to get him better. 

Today Kathryn came though. And she was super helpful. She feels that most of the problems is stemming from his chest. He feels stuck in his ribs and back and he can't float. His forelegs are jammed and his hinglegs are jammed and the ribs/chest are stuck in the middle and jammed. She thinks that while it was always there, perhaps fixing the negative angles in the hind feet combined with the wedges is too much for him. And that he needs a bit shorter breakover in front again as he's back at the knee conformationally. Btu she got some really good releases and interestingly enough, he suddenly has shark fin withers! His back, just behind his withers and the withers itself, have never been that open. So..... maybe this will help. 

She doesn't think it's neurologic, or even really pain, so much as just him getting jammed up. Her recommendation was to pull the wedges off in the hinds and to re x-ray his feet and adjust any angles. She almost wonders if Freddie did such a good job fixing the negative angles that he doesn't need the wedges anymore. And since Fleck had gone around like that so long, the drastic change has just gotten him stuck.
 
So for now at least, she has calmed me down from taking aggressive action. ;) I'll see if I can get him x-rayed again the next time I go to Dr. Browns. I'll see if Freddie will take the wedges off behind in 3 weeks when he comes again and see if he'll agree to shorten his toe a bit. 

And in the meantime, I'll just let Fleck be and take him for occasional hacks. He can walk the whole way if he wants. If he wants to trot, we can trot. If all we do is splash in the lake.. that's fine and dandy. I just miss him. 

Take your pony to work day

Today I was scheduled to work with Dr. Brown so I asked him if I could bring Fleck. Fleck loved it!! He got to enjoy his big beautiful front pasture. It was so pretty I wish I had taken pictures. 

Anyways... Dr. Brown looked at him and thinks it's still trochanteric bursitis. Only worse than a month ago. He was much more reactive and sore and when we ultrasounded him, his muscles surrounding the area look inflamed and unhappy. He was worried that it may always bother him, like his does with him. He said to put him on bute for a week to help resolve inflammation, rest him, and laser the crap out of him. Once he seemed to not be sore, then I could bring him back and see how he does. We could try blistering the area (almond oil) and see if that helps. Or inject again. But... it doesn't sound good. 

Sigh.... It hasn't quite sunk in yet.... I just want my ol' man happy and comfy. And I still want him sound enough to be able to take him hacking and beach riding. :( :( 

When we got home I let him graze for a bit while I got dinner ready. Unfortunately Danny and Roany were wild and went running off when I let them out of the pasture. Fleck joined in but as he came up the hill he looked even more lame. What/!?! Maybe we stressed him and made him sore. But then he looked almost 3 legged lame. He came into the barn and was super lame even at the walk. ACKKK!!! I panicked... thought he had broken a leg... blown a tendon.... tore his muscles again.... He pawed his front foot like he does when he hurts badly. But I couldn't find anything. He took a few more steps and seemed okay, then lame again, then okay again. I finished getting dinner ready and fed him and the others and then went back in to see if I could figure out what happened. I noticed he had a little bit of blood on the foot he was waving in the air at me. Sure enough, the little crack in his heel that I thought was new but was dry when I first looked, now looked a little damp. And he had some blood specks at the heel bulb. It looked like he was either caught up in prickers and punctured/scraped the heel bulb, or like he had stepped on some debris (which could have been anything in our pasture.. it just comes up out of the ground randomly!). After he ate, I hosed him off and checked him closer. He wasn't sore anymore and was walking as sound as he had been prior and there was nothing more than a few scrapes and teeny punctures. 

Good grief!! My little heart can't handle this.

Oh, on our way home we had to stop and laser ponies. Gina got these pictures while Fleck was waiting on me. :) He's so freakin' cute!