Today was rough. Sigh... I *know* that it is going to take a little while for everything to work, if it's going to work. I *know* that he has only had his new shoes on for less than 24 hours and has to adjust. I know that sore muscles and sore stifles will take awhile to relax and heal. I know that the front end lameness isn't going to resolve overnight just because the back end is better. But dangit... I was really hoping he would feel amazing today.
And... he didn't. He felt bad. He was happy to work, but I can still feel the front end lameness. Admittedly, the hind end felt better. I didn't feel any catching or hesitation. Cindy said he looked nice and even behind but just a little unsure of how to push off with his new shoes. But... we are still having right lead canter problems.
And.. perhaps it is me. When I first bought him, we couldn't get the right lead canter. We finally just gave up for a bit and eventually we got it. I'm wondering if it's because he just figured out (because he's smart) that I was attempting to ask for it and despite asking wrong, he just said "to heck with this silly human... I'll just give her the right lead because it's obvious we're going that way". But... why would that change now? Just because I am not asking properly now... I don't think I was before. But maybe I was. I could get him to pick up the right lead even on the rail tracking left. So... I'm worried that it's because he is hurting. Or unable. And he obviously gets upset about going that way. But Cindy says it's because I'm allowing him to throw himself to the left and not asking him properly. She said I'm riding him like Dan and just being happy that he is cantering instead of insisting that he pick up the proper lead. And she did note that my right hip isn't ahead of my left. So... maybe she's right. Maybe I'm just messing up. Or maybe now that he is (in theory) moving more correct, it's harder for him to pick it up because of us cheating all those years. Or maybe because of riding Dan, I've just really messed myself up.
Regardless... today, I started crying in my lesson. Not because I was frustrated at our inability to pick up the right lead, but because I am thinking he can't pick up the right lead because there is something wrong. And because the right lead felt icky. I tried very hard to keep it together. But then Christine asked me what was wrong and I broke down again.
I'm just not ready to be done with him. 11 years is NOT ENOUGH! He doesn't have to run prelim anymore. He doesn't have to jump. I just want to keep riding him and have him be comfy. Sigh... Christine was so sweet. She said that he looked great and full of spitfire. Then she told me that the Indians were such fierce angry warriers because they rode Appies. She said Appies are tough and that he didn't look done. She's so nice and it helped, but dang.... I wanted him to be sound and happy today.
So... patience. I know that I need to give him 30-45 days before I can make a decision. Or at least two weeks. And I know that even after that, there is still more we can do. I'm just wresting with it.
Team Awesome: Follow me and my goofy horse on our adventures in Awesomeness!
Tuesday, July 7, 2015
New Kicks
So... Today is the start of a 30-45 day "all in" effort. I pray to God that it works. Because... I'm just not ready to give up on him yet.
So.... We have taken him off the previcox. This will allow him to have a break from it and we'll see if he really needs it. He is back on the Cur-Ost, which has seemed to be the most helpful oral supplement. He has received all 7 doses of Adequan and we will do twice monthly pentosan again. He is back on the whole foods to see if that will help his joints AND his feet. We are starting his hill work to buff him up and get him fit again. And... the final tweak was his feet. To combat the negative plantar angles he now has frog support pads with a wedge. To help open up the pinched joint cranially in the right front we have also added a small wedge pad with a bar shoe to help rebuild his heels.
I adjusted him too. And will continue to adjust him, laser him, and do acupuncture.
Fingers crossed.
Because you don't give up on your best friend. Not even when the going gets a little rough.
So.... We have taken him off the previcox. This will allow him to have a break from it and we'll see if he really needs it. He is back on the Cur-Ost, which has seemed to be the most helpful oral supplement. He has received all 7 doses of Adequan and we will do twice monthly pentosan again. He is back on the whole foods to see if that will help his joints AND his feet. We are starting his hill work to buff him up and get him fit again. And... the final tweak was his feet. To combat the negative plantar angles he now has frog support pads with a wedge. To help open up the pinched joint cranially in the right front we have also added a small wedge pad with a bar shoe to help rebuild his heels.
I adjusted him too. And will continue to adjust him, laser him, and do acupuncture.
Fingers crossed.
Because you don't give up on your best friend. Not even when the going gets a little rough.
Sunday, July 5, 2015
Day 3 of Hills... this is getting boring! ;)
You don't give up on your best friend!!!
We did a long hack first and then did 30 minutes of walking hills. It was kind of boring so I played my music and sung along. I'm sure Fleck was THRILLED he got to listen to me rocking out. ;) After the walking, we did 5 minutes of trotting hills. That's harder for him. I swear now that I know about the whole NPA thing... I can feel it every step. Every little hesitation... it makes so much sense.
Oh, and later that day, while I was out seeing patients, a certain person asked how Fleck was. When I mentioned that he was going good and we were tweaking his shoes she said "Are you ever going to give up?". I was so shocked I just said.... No... I'm not. Really?!?! You don't give up on your best friend. Sigh...
Squeezing it in
Hills Day 1
We are starting our hill work today. Even though we haven't fixed the shoes yet, I figured that we could do some hills anyways. We were supposed to meet Kelli early so I could get to my chiro patients, but Kelli overslept. So Fleck and I did a 30 minute walk, finding as many hills as we could on the trails. Then we went to the XC field and did 10 minutes of walking up hills and then 10 minutes of trotting up hills. Then Kelli showed up so we went for another little hack with as many hills as we could find and then finished at the lake. We met up with Zhar and Missy and Grant and Kai so we hung out at the lake for a bit, letting Fleck soak his legs.
Some good news
Today was a long day. I took both boys to my lesson with Cindy and rode Fleck first and early to give myself time. It was a good lesson. Nothing crazy. Still having problems with the right lead. Then I rode Dan. And then we headed home to get Fleck to his vet appt. Poor Fleck, he got to come home and unload. He was home long enough to pee and drink a bit of water and then I threw him back on the trailer to go to Montclaire. We met Dr. Grizel there since he was already there for Nicky. It was perfect because it stormed and this way we had the covered arena and the barn and weren't crammed in the garage. ;)
Dr. Bob was great. He listened to me going on and on and palpated him and told me that he thought he knew what was going on. He explained everything in great length, which was awesome. So basically... Fleck has negative plantar angles in the hind feet which is causing patellar hesitation (not luxation, but hesitation). And it all fits. It's not a painful thing, but a biomechanical thing. So he wasn't responding to pain meds. And that is causing the stifle and SI soreness and lower back pain. And, because he can't load the hind end, he's putting more weight on the forehand, thus aggravating the fetlock and knee arthritis.
I tacked him up and lunged him and then got on. Dr. Bob showed me how he was landing toe first and digging his toes in the sand. He showed me the patellar hesitation. When I got on, we did flexions. Flexing his stifle really didn't make much of a difference. So yay for that at least. When I went to canter right the first time, he picked it right up. But you could tell he was getting a little nervous/anxious about it. The second time I asked, he bolted left and bucked through it.
The official diagnosis is the negative plantar angles, causing the hind end issues. And therefore aggravating the front end. He said that we could fix the hind end. That part was easy. But the fetlock arthritis is a bit more worrisome. Being that it's a high motion joint and a rather important one,.... But we are going to see how much it improves with just fixing the back end. He did say that you would be surprised at how often improving the hind end improves the front end.
So... we have a shoeing prescription, we are starting pentosan twice a month and are going to get him super fit on the hills.
Fingers crossed. Though I'm feeling highly optimistic that this will get him feeling better. It all makes sense and fits. I'm so glad I called him instead of going for a bone scan.
Dr. Bob was great. He listened to me going on and on and palpated him and told me that he thought he knew what was going on. He explained everything in great length, which was awesome. So basically... Fleck has negative plantar angles in the hind feet which is causing patellar hesitation (not luxation, but hesitation). And it all fits. It's not a painful thing, but a biomechanical thing. So he wasn't responding to pain meds. And that is causing the stifle and SI soreness and lower back pain. And, because he can't load the hind end, he's putting more weight on the forehand, thus aggravating the fetlock and knee arthritis.
I tacked him up and lunged him and then got on. Dr. Bob showed me how he was landing toe first and digging his toes in the sand. He showed me the patellar hesitation. When I got on, we did flexions. Flexing his stifle really didn't make much of a difference. So yay for that at least. When I went to canter right the first time, he picked it right up. But you could tell he was getting a little nervous/anxious about it. The second time I asked, he bolted left and bucked through it.
The official diagnosis is the negative plantar angles, causing the hind end issues. And therefore aggravating the front end. He said that we could fix the hind end. That part was easy. But the fetlock arthritis is a bit more worrisome. Being that it's a high motion joint and a rather important one,.... But we are going to see how much it improves with just fixing the back end. He did say that you would be surprised at how often improving the hind end improves the front end.
So... we have a shoeing prescription, we are starting pentosan twice a month and are going to get him super fit on the hills.
Fingers crossed. Though I'm feeling highly optimistic that this will get him feeling better. It all makes sense and fits. I'm so glad I called him instead of going for a bone scan.
Sunday, June 28, 2015
So... maybe Fleck IS a bad boy....
Today was... interesting! The other day at Cindys', she was commenting on Dan's bad behavior. I mentioned that Fleck was thinking the same thoughts, he was just too disciplined to act on them. Cindy snorted and said "Sure... Fleck can do no wrong" or something to that effect. Peri giggled and said "he does wrong, you just get a kick out of it". The funny thing is... I was thinking... "Wait.. was Fleck really naughty today or are they just teasing?". Like, I really couldn't remember if he had been a bit goofy or not. So anyways... today proved that he CAN be a butt.
Kelli and I met up for a little jump session and a hack. I wanted to work on my leg and ... well, honestly... I figured that I might as well push the envelope a bit so that Dr. Bob could see him while he was actually sore and not just when he's vague. (Our appt is Tuesday). So I figured I would jump a little. We warmed up and then jumped the grid once. He was pretty good over it although he scurried a little on the right hand turn after. So we went through again and had plans to roll back to the red vertical. Well, Fleck was spooking at the judges stand and our approach wasn't great, but I did manage to get him mostly supple before we came through the grid. On landing he bolted a bit but I was careful to not snatch him in the face and let him settle into a regular canter and then we were able to canter a fence at the opposite end of the arena. After Kelli did her go, I went back to do the grid again and was going to do the other line after. Well... after I jumped the grid, Fleck bolted! Like flat out go for broke bolted. I don't know why, but all I was thinking was "Don't punish him and make him invert". So... in typical Holly fashion, I went to the extreme and basically threw the reins at him. In my defense, I was trying to supple him with my legs and upper body, but it didn't work. We ended up making almost two laps at a dead bolt before I finally got pissed and ripped his face off. So then... I started crying because.. instead of just riding him normally and asking him to stop, I went from saying nothing to yelling at him. Instead of going from nothing, to a whisper to stop, then to a firm stop, I went straight to a screaming "stop". Sigh. He stopped though. But I broke down. I mean... why do I always punish him? He's really only doing what I ask?! And then I was crying because maybe he's bolting because he hurts. I'm concerned that he hurts when he lands, so he bolts. Thank goodness for Kelli because she talked me down a bit. Then she went so I could breathe for a minute. Then I did some transitions and Fleck was polite so I took him over the outside line. He was running at them a bit but he did pay attention when I talked (in a normal voice...not screaming) to him and settled after only a few strides of getting quick. I did a few more jumps and realized that I was really being too passive. I'm so afraid of messing up his retraining or making him hurt, that I"m not doing anything. And not only am I not doing anything, I'm not helping him. Sigh... I can't win anymore. I just..... don't know what to do. :( I did manage to ride a slightly more collected uphill canter to a fence and keep my body upright and we got a decent fence with a decent back side. I quit with that and then we went for a hack and soaked his legs in the lake for 10 minutes.
It was a good and bad ride. The bad, obviously, and because I still don't know if the bolting is fear or pain or just because it's been so long and he's excited. The good though, is that it was a lot of fun jumping again. Even if it was a little terrifying at times. And... we worked on my leg. I was really thinking I was going to need to sell my saddle and buy another one because I was fighting my leg so much. But Kelli suggested I raise my stirrup another hole and... it really was good. I didn't have to fight so much to get my leg where it belonged and it felt like it was behaving and not swinging too much. I also think that if I think a little bit about pinching with my knee, it actually works for me. It's not that I want to pinch with my knee, but by thinking of closing my knee, it actually closes my upper calf on him. And that secures my upper body more. I don't know what was the key phrase or what I was even really thinking about, but... I kind of liked my leg today. :) So there is that. ;)
But really... this is so emotionally exhausting. I really hope that I can fix him and fix him well enough that I can stop riding the "broken" horse and start riding my horse - start riding him to ride and not riding him looking for the lame step constantly. I'd like to be able to ride and work on proper riding rather than focusing on whether I felt a funky step or not. So.. fingers crossed, praying hard, and hoping for the best.
Kelli and I met up for a little jump session and a hack. I wanted to work on my leg and ... well, honestly... I figured that I might as well push the envelope a bit so that Dr. Bob could see him while he was actually sore and not just when he's vague. (Our appt is Tuesday). So I figured I would jump a little. We warmed up and then jumped the grid once. He was pretty good over it although he scurried a little on the right hand turn after. So we went through again and had plans to roll back to the red vertical. Well, Fleck was spooking at the judges stand and our approach wasn't great, but I did manage to get him mostly supple before we came through the grid. On landing he bolted a bit but I was careful to not snatch him in the face and let him settle into a regular canter and then we were able to canter a fence at the opposite end of the arena. After Kelli did her go, I went back to do the grid again and was going to do the other line after. Well... after I jumped the grid, Fleck bolted! Like flat out go for broke bolted. I don't know why, but all I was thinking was "Don't punish him and make him invert". So... in typical Holly fashion, I went to the extreme and basically threw the reins at him. In my defense, I was trying to supple him with my legs and upper body, but it didn't work. We ended up making almost two laps at a dead bolt before I finally got pissed and ripped his face off. So then... I started crying because.. instead of just riding him normally and asking him to stop, I went from saying nothing to yelling at him. Instead of going from nothing, to a whisper to stop, then to a firm stop, I went straight to a screaming "stop". Sigh. He stopped though. But I broke down. I mean... why do I always punish him? He's really only doing what I ask?! And then I was crying because maybe he's bolting because he hurts. I'm concerned that he hurts when he lands, so he bolts. Thank goodness for Kelli because she talked me down a bit. Then she went so I could breathe for a minute. Then I did some transitions and Fleck was polite so I took him over the outside line. He was running at them a bit but he did pay attention when I talked (in a normal voice...not screaming) to him and settled after only a few strides of getting quick. I did a few more jumps and realized that I was really being too passive. I'm so afraid of messing up his retraining or making him hurt, that I"m not doing anything. And not only am I not doing anything, I'm not helping him. Sigh... I can't win anymore. I just..... don't know what to do. :( I did manage to ride a slightly more collected uphill canter to a fence and keep my body upright and we got a decent fence with a decent back side. I quit with that and then we went for a hack and soaked his legs in the lake for 10 minutes.
It was a good and bad ride. The bad, obviously, and because I still don't know if the bolting is fear or pain or just because it's been so long and he's excited. The good though, is that it was a lot of fun jumping again. Even if it was a little terrifying at times. And... we worked on my leg. I was really thinking I was going to need to sell my saddle and buy another one because I was fighting my leg so much. But Kelli suggested I raise my stirrup another hole and... it really was good. I didn't have to fight so much to get my leg where it belonged and it felt like it was behaving and not swinging too much. I also think that if I think a little bit about pinching with my knee, it actually works for me. It's not that I want to pinch with my knee, but by thinking of closing my knee, it actually closes my upper calf on him. And that secures my upper body more. I don't know what was the key phrase or what I was even really thinking about, but... I kind of liked my leg today. :) So there is that. ;)
But really... this is so emotionally exhausting. I really hope that I can fix him and fix him well enough that I can stop riding the "broken" horse and start riding my horse - start riding him to ride and not riding him looking for the lame step constantly. I'd like to be able to ride and work on proper riding rather than focusing on whether I felt a funky step or not. So.. fingers crossed, praying hard, and hoping for the best.
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